I have a problem. You see, my partner wants to have a kid. I don’t, not really. She says that I would be an amazing father but I’m utterly terrified of being responsible for the growth and development of a person. A whole person! For those of you who haven’t had kids can you even imagine the implications of that? I have a ton of respect for parents who have done well by their children but the stress and pressure that exists on their shoulders must be massive! Anyway, she told me to buy volume pills before she even suggested the idea of having a baby which is what spurned my suspicion.
It was a week later that she brought up the idea. I feel as if neither of us are ready for it, and if either of us are it’s going to be her. How do you raise a kid? It’s said that there’s no book on the subject but it seems to me that there are a lot of books on it but none of them actually say the same thing. That makes me nervous; if few ‘experts’ can agree on how to raise a child then clearly nobody has a clue! If they don’t have a clue then what am I doing listening to them?
It’s terrifying! I don’t want to ruin some persons life and especially not the life of my potential child. My parents were kind of awful when it came to the whole parenting thing and I feel as if parenting is something that is passed on. Clearly my ability to parent is going to be hampered by my personal experiences. I might have a good idea on how to bring some measure of control to the table but being a person is a constant work in progress. I might not ever be able to become a good parent.